Me and Drakes first date

  • Drake: And that's when I said first of all Barack, I'm mixed, but enough about me. I wanna know about you. *boops my nose*
  • Me: Well, I do not like the beach because I do not like sand or crustaceans but I do personally feel very connected to the ocean. I actually feel as if I may be mixed with mermaid.
  • Drake: That's so interesting. You are such a well rounded individual. Please, tell me more about you.
  • Me: I am very afraid of the dark.
  • Drake: A few years back I read a passage that said something like "You're not afraid of the dark, you're afraid of what is inside of the dark." I just thought that was so beautiful.
  • Me: ... Are you getting smart with me?
  • Drake: Not at all I ju-
  • Me: *loudly* Please do not come for me Mr. Graham I know what the hale I'm scared of!
  • Drake: ... that was extremely arousing and I'd like to take you home if that's okay with you.
  • Me: You pickin up the tab?
  • Drake: *nods*
  • Me: *puts the basket of rolls in my bag* Get the check.

(via sashayed)

throwinshade:

omfg im screaming

papermagazine:

harinef:

zodiacbaby:

amycakesdankydank:

SAME

you guys … you really dont understand how bad i want a boy to give me intense sexy looks while i ugly eat!!!

i’m mad……..

ASkdfj.

remydantons:

starslitup:

tamaratunie:

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Season 2, Episode 12 “Secrets” (2 Feb. 2001)

     

charlie kelly dancing while high on glue

no:

Porn is Too much. Someone could’ve eaten those apples, but instead you put them all in your Asshole? Who will eat them now? I won’t

(via sashayed)

talizorah-vas-rannoch:

this will always be my favorite interaction from okcupid

(via straightwhiteboystexting)

(via hockeychick57)